Julian: But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.
Sonny: It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so...
Julian: Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG!
Sonny: ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT!

Sonny: Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.

[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend]
Vanessa: He has a five year plan.
Sonny: What is it? "Don't die"?

Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
Sonny: Yeah.
Layla: Is that strange for you?
Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.