[Tony has just come out of the closet]
Jess: But... - but you're Indian!

Joe: Where do you normally play?
Jess: In the park.
Joe: No.. I meant what position?

Paula: Just remember there's a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fellow!

Wedding Guest: Lesbian? I thought she was a Pisces

Paula: So when the French Mustard is between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt it's offside.

Video Man: Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video.

Jess: She called me a Paki. But I guess that's something you wouldn't understand.
Joe: Jess, I'm Irish.

Paula: Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!